Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough to achieve your goals?
That no matter how hard you try, you’ll never measure up to others or reach your full potential?
If so, you’re not alone.
We live in a world today, where having a bunch of materialistic things and living in a big mansion and driving a nice car is considered success.
That once you get all those things, then you deserve to be happy.
Then you are worthy of being loved and accepted.
Along with constant consumption of social media, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to other people and feeling inadequate.
But here’s the truth: success is not about being perfect or having all of these external things.
It’s not about having millions of dollars in your bank account or trying to please other people and meeting their standards.
True success is about building a strong sense of self-worth, believing in your own abilities, and loving yourself authentically for who you are.
So how do you overcome feelings of unworthiness?
How do you believe in yourself and build your self worth so you can achieve your dreams?
A few days ago, I attended a 12 hour live virtual event with over 250,000 people on building self worth, hosted by Jamie Kern Lima.
Who is Jamie Kern Lima?
She began as a struggling waitress at Denny’s who had a dream of creating her own cosmetic line to help other women who also had rosacea and hyperpigmentation.
She later founded the company IT cosmetics, which sold to L’Oréal for 1.2 billion dollars.
She then became the first female chief executive officer of the L’Oréal brand.
Since leaving the company in 2019, she has published two books:
She also has invested in multiple companies and been actively involved in the personal development space focusing on helping people dump their doubt, build self worth and become unstoppable.
This event was put together because she was launching her new book “Worthy”.
This book was written for anybody who ever felt they weren’t good enough or didn’t measure up or something’s missing in their lives.
At this event, she had over 12 amazing guest speakers, some of the most influential people and renowned thought leaders in the space.
Some of her speakers included:
- Oprah Winfrey
- Ellen DeGeneres
- Maria Shriver
- Robin Roberts
- Tony Robbins
- John Maxwell
- Mel Robbins
- Steven Furtick
- Mallory Ervin
- Ed Mylett
- Jay Shetty
- Brendan Burchard and more
And this event was put on for free, just to serve.
I took tons of notes and I wish I could share everything I learned with you but this post would probably go on forever.
Honestly, this event was too good NOT to share.
So, I condensed some of the best nuggets from a few of my favourite speakers to share with you all.
For each speaker, I will list parts of their message and their most memorable takeaways in short sentences so it’s easy to digest and follow along.
Make yourself a coffee, grab your notebook and let’s get started!
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After 12+ Hours at a Live Self Worth Event, Here’s What I Learned
Robin Roberts
As the co-anchor for Good Morning America for two decades, she is a familiar face we all love. Remarkably, she conquered breast cancer and MDS (myelodysplastic syndrome). She’s also the author of New York Times Bestseller, “Brighter by the Day: Waking up to New Hopes and Dreams”.
During hurricane Katrina, I finally found my mother and started sobbing on live TV.
I thought I was going to get fired but the audience loved it and thanked me for being my authentic self and showing my pain.
That incident taught me not to show up in the world as your representative but as your authentic self.
Just show up and be yourself.
In life you need 3 D’s:
- Discipline: discipline yourself so no one else has to
- Determination: being your authentic self and living your truth
- Da Lord: uplift yourself and believe you can make it
Don’t let fear keep you from your destiny.
Give yourself a break and look at all you’ve accomplished so far.
Don’t worry about the mountain in front of you but look back and see the all the mountains you already climbed.
Treat success and failure the same, one is not better than the other.
Find your message in the mess, like how I found my purpose in my pain.
Change the way you think and you’ll change the way you feel.
Ed Mylett
Top performance coach and mindset coach in the world. #1 keynote speaker in the world, global entrepreneur, coach to top athletes, CEOs and politicians. Author of bestselling book “Power of One More”.
As the son of an alcoholic and drug addict, I believed I wasn’t worthy of becoming anything.
We disqualify ourselves by taking for granted the gifts God gave us.
Half the time when you’re doing something great with your life, you may not even know it.
That greatness will always be in service of other people.
You were born to do something great with your life.
Truth vibrates at the highest frequency and when you speak truth to yourself, you become a superhuman.
The person who helped my dad get sober at his lowest point caused a ripple effect and I ended up helping millions of other people.
What qualified this person to help my dad was his past mistakes.
4 D’s that present as obstacles to achieving your dreams:
- Doubt: not believing in yourself or your own abilities
- Discouragement: setbacks, haters, criticism that bring you down
- Delusion: make a problem bigger than it is, thinking about it over and over again
- Delay: procrastination, believing you need to know everything before taking action, missing the moment
There’s a rhythm, pace and cadence to success.
You don’t have to believe everything you think.
In every family, there’s THE ONE (the “Transitional Character” coined by Dr. Broderick):
- A transitional character is one who, in a single generation, changes the entire course of a lineage.
- The changes might be for good or ill, but the most noteworthy examples are those individuals who grow up in an abusive, emotionally destructive environment and who somehow find a way to metabolize the poison and refuse to pass it on to their children.
- They break the mold. They refute the observation that abused children become abusive parents, that the children of alcoholics become alcoholic adults, that “the sins of the fathers are visited upon the heads of children to the third and fourth generation.”
- Their contribution to humanity is to filter the destructiveness out of their own lineage so that the generations downstream will have a supportive foundation upon which to build productive lives.
If you’re listening to this, YOU ARE THE ONE in your family.
As a little boy, I conflated significance or recognition with love (A on a report card, hitting a home run etc).
If I could achieve enough things, then I’d be loved and could love myself.
My dad taught me “You gotta bring you with you” no matter where you end up in life.
Stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself (I’m built for this, I’m worthy of this etc).
Focus on your intentions: I intend to serve humanity, my intentions are good.
Start connecting your self worth with intent and not ability.
Oprah Winfrey
Media mogul, actress, and philanthropist who came from challenging beginnings and redefined the entertainment industry. Iconic talk show, “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” empowered millions, highlighting important social issues. Most well known books, “What Happened to You?” and “What I Know For Sure”.
After 4561 shows and 350,000 one-on-one interviews, the common denominator every person has is “Am I enough?”.
Every single interview everyone says the same thing, “Do you hear me? Do you see me? Did what I say matter?”.
Everybody born is reaching for the rising of their life.
You are always co-creating your life, you are a partner with the universe.
When I was a little girl, I was watching my grandmother hang laundry on the lines and she said to me, “You better watch me Oprah because you’ve got to learn how to do this for yourself”.
Even at the age of 4, I could feel inside myself that my life was going to be different, I knew I was destined for more.
Every true and great thing that happened to me was guided by that feeling, that knowing inside of me.
Know that the inner voice that’s speaking to you is the real answer, YOUR voice.
Your opinion is the most valuable, you can take other people’s advice but the inner knowing, only you have that.
You gut’s not wrong, your head is often wrong.
The voices of other people will drown out the voice of God, the voice of your divine inner knowing, the voice of your source of all being.
You must get calm and still enough to actually hear and feel it for yourself.
God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can for yourself.
Tony Robbins
Nation’s top life and business strategist that has impacted millions with his life-changing events. As a child who grew up in poverty, he made a promise to himself one day he would pay it forward. New York Times bestselling author of multiples book such as, “Money: Master the Game”, “Awaken the Giant Within” and “Life Force”.
It’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
Levels of belief:
- Opinions: you heard something about it but you can be influenced.
- Beliefs: like tabletop legs and references. How you get rid of a belief is you have to question it, you can’t keep a belief if you have doubt.
- Conviction: something you would rather die than give up, like a tree trunk.
Your beliefs are like a CD playing in your head like a pattern in your brain, if you try to believe something different or put a new CD in, it won’t work.
You have take out the old CD and scratch it first so it won’t play anymore.
Habits are mostly unconscious, intellectually you know better but emotionally you’re still running the same pattern, conditioned in your nervous system.
Sometimes beliefs are hard to know what it is, it’s more like a feeling.
Beliefs can feel like an addiction, you’ve told yourself the same thing over and over again.
Our brains link pain and pleasure to things:
- Pain: moving away from something
- Pleasure: moving towards something Only way to stop doing something is if you link enough pain to it
There’s a limit to willpower so you have to change your conditioning.
The deepest limiting belief people have is worthiness.
The only way to change is if you find strong enough reasons to, something you value more.
Reasons come first, answers come second.
Change is never a matter of ability, it’s always a matter of motivation or reasons.
A limiting belief is a story you create to deal with your fear.
A great life requires faith and courage.
Humans have 2 main fears:
- We’re not enough
- If we’re not enough, we won’t be loved
Love is the oxygen of the soul.
Human species dependency on another human for survival is the longest period of time in all animal kingdom except primates.
Our advantage is love and our capacity to care for another because we need it to survive.
As a baby, no matter what you did you were loved (screaming, puking, crying etc) but if you did those things as grown up, you might not receive love back, instead you might get yelled at or ignored.
At the moment, fear enters your body and starts questioning “how can I be enough? How can I be loved?”.
Love is when you put someone else’s needs completely ahead of your own.
As you get older, you have to start earning love.
Unconditional love was taken from us so we don’t become selfish.
If we felt selfish every moment, we wouldn’t grow or give because life is about what you can give.
You become worthy by doing something worthy.
Find something you want to serve more than yourself, ask yourself, “What am I here to serve more than myself?”.
What you practice in private, you’ll be rewarded in public.
You know what really drives you, if you’re really focused on serving something more than yourself, you’ll get the energy to do great things then you’ll feel worthy.
Only one key to happiness: progress.
Everything on Earth grows or dies, everything in the universe contributes in some way or evolution eliminates it.
If you only do things because you’re confident and feel good, you won’t do most of the things that are necessary.
Face and tell yourself the truth about the gap of where you are and what you want to be.
The truth will set you free but lack of clarity will not.
Awaken your hunger, when you’re hunger is strong enough, you’ll take action.
Ask yourself, “What do you want today and why do you want it?”.
Ask yourself, “What’s gotten in the way in the past (fear, limiting beliefs, stress, overwhelm, habits, missing skill)?”.
Then develop a MAP: massive action plan and slay your dragons.
The higher the energy level, the higher the retention.
The state you’re in when you’re learning determines what you’ll do after.
Information without emotion is barely retained.
Emotion is created by motion, the way you move changes the way you feel.
Do what your heart knows is right even though it’s scary.
When I gave everything I had lovingly from a beautiful place in my heart, it healed that wound of scarcity.
The antidote to your worthiness is action.
Your own worthiness has nothing to do with what anybody said to you.
Your own worthiness is earned by getting yourself to do difficult things.
Amy Porterfield
Leading expert in online marketing and entrepreneurship, recognized for her impactful digital courses. Podcast host of “Online Marketing Made Easy”. As a business strategist, she empowers entrepreneurs to build successful online businesses through practical strategies and actionable advice. Bestselling author of “Two Weeks Notice”.
You and only you are capable of creating the life beyond your wildest dreams.
For years, I allowed other people’s opinions of me to be my validation.
If other people liked me, I felt worthy.
Let go of others opinions, go with your gut, your inner knowing, your have to believe in your thoughts more than other peoples opinions.
Take action even when you don’t have all the answers.
Put blinders on like a race horse and only look forward.
When your stuck and overwhelmed, you show up with desperate energy, be someone you’re not, say things you think will make you fit in and stay on the side lines.
3 steps to find your path:
- Reframe thoughts: everything that is meant for me will find me.
- Take imperfection action: even if you don’t know if it’s going to work or not sure if it’s the right move, taking action gets you to the next step, gives you clarity and gets the ball rolling.
- Choose new identity: ask yourself, “Who do I wanna be? how do I want to show up? What do I want out of my life?”. Then act as that person (their habits, morning routine etc).
Show up as the person you want to be.
You are not responsible for your first thought but you are responsible for choosing a new thought that will serve you.
What’s keeping you safe is keeping you stuck.
Let go of your unworthy shield and believe in yourself.
Mallory Ervin
Small town Kentucky girl turned internet superstar lived many different lives as a good girl, an addict, a mom and a public figure. After almost losing her life to substance abuse, she found her true self and came back stronger than ever. Author of “Living Fully” and “All In”.
After winning Miss Kentucky, going on Amazing Race and rising to stardom on the internet, my identity became completely tied to my success.
I put so much pressure on myself to outdo my last milestone that I started to spiral out of control and numb myself with substances.
I had an incredible childhood, my grandpa was the heartbeat of the family. He taught me to be fearless and chase my dreams.
He encouraged me to sing and fostered my gifts.
During my success, I thought I needed to outdo my last achievement.
I had super high self confidence from all these achievements but stripped away I had no self worth, I was suffering inside.
Early in my success, I was prescribed medication to keep up with everything, then I was prescribed more medication to help me sleep.
I then added dependency on alcohol.
My addiction spiraled out of control and I almost lost my life due to it.
Got to a place that was completely unrecognizable even to myself.
I was admitted to a treatment center for 5.5 months.
It took my brokenness to get a breakthrough.
How we choose to deal with our pain not only reveals our character but strengthens it also.
Life has a funny way of ushering us into our life’s destiny.
Recovery is not about the drugs or alcohol, it’s about the stuff underneath that got you there in the first place.
At treatment, I did the most important work in my life; stripping away every piece of my identity.
Things falsely tied to my self worth, titles, achievements etc.
After I stripped away everything, I realized I was who I wanted to be all along.
Adversity made me who I am today.
Don’t let your fear of adversity overcome your ability to live fully.
Be more afraid of missing out on living a full life than you are of experiencing pain within it.
Time is a luxury and the ultimate gift that’s not always a guarantee.
You’re going to be made into the person you’re meant to be through your adversity.
Nicole LePera
Clinical psychologist that became frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients, she shifted into holistic psychology that unifies mental, physical, and spiritual health for deep healing. New York Times bestselling author of “How to Do the Work”.
Doesn’t matter what you have or what you do, everyone feel unworthy but why?
The way we think, things we believe about ourselves is directly impacted by things in early childhood.
When a caregiver wasn’t there to soothe or care of us, or interested and accepted who we are as a person, you develop a core belief that you’re intrinsically unworthy of love and care.
Our parents had their own trauma that was put onto us and we carried that and the cycle continues.
You must become aware and separate yourself from that belief and old identity to begin healing.
A lot of lack of worthiness came from unmet needs.
Before you get out of bed, give yourself a moment, check in with yourself.
This shows yourself that you’re an individual that has needs and shows yourself you’re worth of prioritizing you.
Show up for yourself each and every moment hit a pause, put your needs first, take a rest, reach for support, allow yourself to accept how you feel without shaming yourself.
Celebrate and be patient with change; many of these beliefs were built in a long time ago.
Notice your bad thoughts but know they’re not true.
Observe your bad thoughts but don’t react.
Peoples ideas about what is realistic is more of a reflection on them and their sense of worthiness.
De-personalize those comments, don’t internalize their opinions.
Protect your dreams from people, choose to be surrounded by a positive environment.
Make empowering choices by putting your needs first.
Brendon Burchard
#1 high performance coach in the world named by Forbes. The Orpah Magazine named him as the most influential leader in personal growth. 3-time New York Times bestselling author. Top books, “High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way” and “The Motivation Manifesto”.
Pull the good things into your heart.
The greatest lever in all self worth is learning to deal with difficult emotions so you stop self hate.
Your self worth is so much your self talk.
3 kinds of worth:
- Innate: you’re a gift, you’re God’s child, you have rights, you’re special, you’re a miracle, you’re a good human being
- Earned Worth: your actions, skills, mastery, contribution, hard earned wisdom of success
- Shared Worth: doing things that are worthy with other people, humans beings are social beings and need love, mission, contribution, giving, and being of service
Each of these things determine how you feel every day.
Weighted equation that you can change the balance of your worth.
Earn the gift of life: live, love, matter.
3 levers to self worth:
- Compassion: be kind to yourself, manage self talk, forgive your past, stop living in the old episode of the past.
- Use a compassion card and write down all the good things about you to remind yourself on a bad day.
- Conduct: measure of your character which is a huge measure of your self worth and how you show up in life.
- If you want to live a worthy life, you have to come from a place of greater integrity.
- Conscious Alignment: purpose, service, connecting to God, go from self culture to service culture, be conscious of how you treat other people.
Stop lying to yourself and everyone around you.
Stop trying to fix all your limiting beliefs.
Take the spotlight off of what’s wrong with you and amplify your good strengths.
Mel Robbins
Ranked #1 female podcast host of The Mel Robbins Podcast. Known in the personal development space as the expert on mindset motivation and behaviour change. Bestselling author of “The 5 Second Rule” and “The High 5 Habit”.
Self worth is not about a feeling, it’s about a doing.
Self confidence and self worth battle is won day to day by the actions you take.
The battle inside my mind and my thoughts is a dark and scary place.
If you don’t know what to do with all this information, nothing will change.
You’re going to be the one that proves with your actions that you’re worthy.
Try this exercise: take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.
- Left Side: Write “Worthy”
Now close your eyes and visualize and take deep breaths.
Time travel a year from now, picture yourself as the most confident self worthy version of yourself.
See yourself in your life, living in peace and contentment.
What’s the day like? Where are you? Who is the person you see in the mirror in the morning? What is that version of you like?
Does that version of you exercise? What are your habits? Who do you hang out with? What time do you sleep?
Visualize yourself in the life you can create for the future.
There’s a portal in your mind, where you can go and see and feel worthy.
On the left side of the paper, write down details of a life where you feel worthy; what you eat, when you sleep, your habits etc.
The fastest way to be worthy of yourself is by the actions you take.
The power is in your actions.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What makes you feel like you are worthy?
- What does life look like if you’re treating yourself in a way that’s consistent with somebody that cares about themselves?
Talk is cheap, if you want to know what somebody truly believes, look at their actions because behaviour doesn’t lie.
On the right side of paper, write down what your life currently looks like and compare the two columns.
Pick a few times from the “Worthy” column and start practicing them.
Actions prove to yourself you care about you.
You are bigger than your emotions.
Say to yourself, “I’m bigger than the lies, I’m bigger than my excuses”.
When you push past your life with action, you prove that you don’t believe your lies.
3 Rules of Habits:
- Rule #1: Don’t expect to want to do it (resistance is proof you’re changing, you’re making a new neural pathway and you’re uncomfortable)
- Rule #2: Use environmental triggers, use post-it notes as reminders and put them anywhere you will to remind yourself to do the habit
- Rule #3: Be consistent and compassionate with yourself
It takes 18-240 days to build a new habit.
Change is not instant but it’s about consistency, confidence and compassion.
Thanks for stopping by 
I hope you found this post helpful and caught from inspiring messages!
There were many other amazing speakers that I couldn’t include in this post but here’s the link if you want to watch the full 12 hour event!
Let me know which speaker resonated with you the most in the comments below!
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